| Num | Statement by President Trump | Satirical Response by President Trump |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | You're all dressed up today | We started out with empty cupboards |
| 9.) | You are in no position to tell us what we're going to feel. We're going to feel very good | No politician in history—I say this with great surety—has been treated worse or more unfairly |
| 8.) | You're not in a good position. You don't have the cards right now. With us, you start having cards | I will have a deal done in one day. One day |
| 7.) | You're playing cards. You're gambling with the lives of millions of people. You're gambling with World War III | They're dying, Russians and Ukrainians. I want them to stop dying. And I'll have that done in 24 hours |
| 6.) | He's not speaking loudly. He's not speaking loudly. Your country is in big trouble | In Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in, they're eating the cats... |
| 5.) | No, no. You've done a lot of talking. Your country is in big trouble | Excuse me! Excuse me! |
| 4.) | Look, if you can get a ceasefire right now, I tell you, you take it so the bullets stop flying and your men stop getting killed | Believe it or not, Social Security databases list 4.7 million Social Security numbers from people aged 100 to 109 years old |
| 3.) | Are you saying you don't want a ceasefire? I want a ceasefire. Because you'll get a ceasefire faster than an agreement | But even now, if I were president, I'd be able to negotiate an end to this horrible and rapidly escalating war in 24 hours |
| 2.) | You've got to be more thankful because let me tell you, you don't have the cards. With us, you have the cards, but without us, you don't have any cards | You're fired! |
| 1.) | They respect me | I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words |
Posted March 16, 2025
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