Top Ten Fancy Words that Judge Aileen Cannon May Use

Top Ten Fancy Words that Judge Aileen Cannon May Use—Part 3

affidavit
circumstantial
exculpatory
remand
equitable
trump-a-doodle-doo
maggalujah
trumptacular
maggalopolis
expialitrumpcious

Posted August 15, 2023

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Commentary

This is the third (and final) installment in our rather mean-spirited series of funny top ten lists making fun of Judge Aileen Cannon, who is presiding over the Mar-a-Lago documents case of former U.S. president Donald Trump.

Our overall impression is that Judge Cannon (who has limited trial experience) is in over her head with this high profile and complex case. Her first ruling (which was very Trump friendly) was reversed on appeal, and court watchers have been vigilant for indications whether Judge Cannon's post-smackdown rulings will be decided by (1) impartial jurist Cannon or (2) Trump fan-girl Cannon.

To us, Judge Cannon's recent ruling on August 7 seemed rather snarky in the way it accused the special counsel of making a motion that lacked factual and legal support. Reading between the lines, it almost seems like Judge Cannon is engaging in war in order to try to get herself kicked off of this difficult case (if that's even possible), and in the meantime she fully intends to continue issuing Trump-friendly rulings until such time as she gets the hook.

We've tried to capture the bifurcated nature of her rulings by brainstorming two groups of five words. The first five words look like they'd fit nicely into a well-considered legal ruling, while the last five words are more representative of Trumpville USA superfans who've drunk the Kool-Aid and bought the T-shirt.

This is an image of a fake judicial ruling intended to make fun of U.S. Judge Aileen Cannon.