| Num | Gollum | Donald Trump |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Obsessed with "my precious" | Obsessed with "my papers" |
| 9.) | Big round pale eyes | Long red neckties |
| 8.) | Hates anything made by elves | Hates anything done by Barack Obama |
| 7.) | Bit off Frodo's finger to get the One Ring | Threw a lunch plate at the wall |
| 6.) | 589 years old (at death) | 77 years old |
| 5.) | Makes a horrible swallowing noise in his throat | This item intentionally left blank |
| 4.) | Fell into the fires at the volcano | Fell into the grip of the justice system |
| 3.) | Attempted to frame Sam Gamgee using Lembas bread crumbs | Goaded his supporters to attack Mike Pence using mean tweets |
| 2.) | Eats raw fish | Eats well-done steaks with ketchup |
| 1.) | Blames his challenges on the Bagginses | Blames his challenges on the Bidens |
Posted June 19, 2023
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