Top Ten Surprising (But Fake) Things from Donald Trump's Arrest and Arraignment
- Marjorie Taylor Greene insisted (via megaphone) that the arrest was a fragrant violation of Trump's rights
- In an effort to bolster his "I'm innocent" claim, Trump resisted the urge to hit on the cute blonde officer in the hallway
- Lindsey Graham attended the arraignment but had to be removed from the courtroom due to his loud, hysterical crying
- A court officer didn't hold the door open for Trump, so one of Trump's superhero NFTs wrestled him to the floor
- Trump felt that the judge's decision not to allow the J6 Choir to perform at the arraignment was very, very unfair
- A man resembling Ron DeSantis burned rubber on his Harley in front of the courthouse—New York police are now on the lookout for a dorky-looking dude with white boots
- Trump tore up his copy of the indictment and vowed to promptly deliver the shreds to the National Archives
- Marjorie Taylor Greene described the proceedings as disgusting, filthy, repulsive (whoops, never mind—those are the words she used to describe New York)
- Trump taunted the judge by emphatically pointing at his ring finger and then doing the "you can't see me" hand gesture (oh shoot—that was LSU basketball player Angel Reese)
- When asked whether he pleads guilty or not guilty on the charges, Trump lined up three empty Bud Light cans on the banister, shot them one by one with a 45, replied "Not guilty," then sat down and blew on the shooting end of the 45
Posted April 7, 2023
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