Top Ten Satirical Signs of Financial Distress at Truth Social
- Ketchup stains on the checkbook
- Failure to pay vendors (Whoops, never mind—Trump's companies routinely refuse to pay vendors, so that's not necessarily a sign of financial distress)
- A concerning memo outlining the Company's financial challenges was recently received from the desk of Devin Nunes's cow
- Uncertainty over whether Elon Musk will make good on his offer to buy the company (Oh shoot, never mind—that's Twitter)
- Unpaid vendor invoices found to be clogging the toilets
- The most recent quarterly financial report was inadvertently sent to the ACC instead of the SEC
- Handwritten sign on the front door of headquarters says "Gone fishing"
- Recent news that high-performing CEO Devin Nunes will be getting a raise over his current $750,000 annual base salary
- Rumor that they've asked The Office's Michael Scott to declare bankruptcy on their behalf
- For some reason, the tax bill from the IRS far exceeded the Company's $750 budget
Posted October 17, 2022; Written August 28, 2022
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