| Num | Lord Voldemort | President Trump |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | His goal is immortality and world domination | His goal is immorality and news cycle domination |
| 9.) | Tried to kill Harry Potter because of a prophecy that Potter would be the end of him | Tried to overturn the 2020 election because of a certified vote that indicated the other guy won |
| 8.) | Killed an innocent unicorn and drank its blood in order to stay alive | Incited his followers to attack an innocent vice president in order to get revenge |
| 7.) | Has many loyal servants who are eager to carry out his evil wishes | Has many loyal servants who are eager to carry out his evil wishes |
| 6.) | Murdered his father, grandmother, and grandfather | Shunned his niece, sister, and Jeff Sessions |
| 5.) | Is a racist who hates mudbloods (people with mixed heritage—wizard and human) | Is a racist who thinks people from Philadelphia and Detroit shouldn't be permitted to count ballots |
| 4.) | Can fly into fits of violent rage when things don't go his way | Can fly into fits of violent rage when things don't go his way |
| 3.) | Set loose a Basilisk (a very large snake) at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry | Set loose a Giuliani (a very inept snake) at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping Company |
| 2.) | Can make bad things happen to people who are mean to him | Can make bad things happen to people who don't agree to carry out his corrupt plans |
| 1.) | Favorite spell is "avada kedavra" | Favorite spell is "election 69" |
Posted October 17, 2022; Written January 9, 2021
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