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Top Ten Characteristics of Lord Voldemort or President Trump

Num Lord Voldemort President Trump
10.) His goal is immortality and world domination His goal is immorality and news cycle domination
9.) Tried to kill Harry Potter because of a prophecy that Potter would be the end of him Tried to overturn the 2020 election because of a certified vote that indicated the other guy won
8.) Killed an innocent unicorn and drank its blood in order to stay alive Incited his followers to attack an innocent vice president in order to get revenge
7.) Has many loyal servants who are eager to carry out his evil wishes Has many loyal servants who are eager to carry out his evil wishes
6.) Murdered his father, grandmother, and grandfather Shunned his niece, sister, and Jeff Sessions
5.) Is a racist who hates mudbloods (people with mixed heritage—wizard and human) Is a racist who thinks people from Philadelphia and Detroit shouldn't be permitted to count ballots
4.) Can fly into fits of violent rage when things don't go his way Can fly into fits of violent rage when things don't go his way
3.) Set loose a Basilisk (a very large snake) at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Set loose a Giuliani (a very inept snake) at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping Company
2.) Can make bad things happen to people who are mean to him Can make bad things happen to people who don't agree to carry out his corrupt plans
1.) Favorite spell is "avada kedavra" Favorite spell is "election 69"

Posted October 17, 2022; Written January 9, 2021

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