Top Ten Satirical Explanations of the Ramp at the West Point Graduation

Ramp was sabotaged by antifa
Obama left the high-traction shoebox bare
President Trump was being extra careful because he didn't sign the waiver
Was distracted by the pandemonium in Seattle
99.99% of ramps are good, but this was one of the few bad apples
Number one, the ramp was very slippery, and number two, the incline angle must have been at least 3%
President Trump's calculation of the coefficient of friction was a little off (Obama left the calculator drawer bare)
Thought he'd be able to take the golf cart
Doesn't believe in systemic tractionism
Had to make way for Tony Hawk

Posted October 17, 2022; Written June 17, 2020