Top Ten Reasons Will Smith Slapped Chris Rock at the Academy Awards

Rock keeps bringing up "Parents Just Don't Understand" which Smith believes he's grown beyond
Mistook him for one of the aliens in Independence Day
Upset that Rock disrespected Smith's wife Jada...I mean, who would do that??
Tom Cruise had an inkling beforehand that it would happen but failed to stop him from committing the assault in time
Figures if someone is going to disrespect Jada, he's perfectly capable of doing it himself
It was just something to do when he's not spending time with other women
Upset that Rock keeps spelling the word "happiness" incorrectly
It was just something to do when Jada is out spending time with other men
Thought he could use the neuralizer device from Men in Black to make Rock forget it happened
Blames Rock for the year he spent homeless in San Francisco...oh shoot, that's another movie, isn't it?

Posted October 17, 2022; Written March 28, 2022

Commentary

It was the slap heard around the world.

Taking exception to a joke Chris Rock had made about Will Smith's wife Jada's baldness, Smith stalked up to the stage at the 2022 Academy Awards and smacked Rock across the face. Clearly not anticipating the blow, Rock had his hands behind the back. Smith then walked back to his seat with a smug smirk on his face, and dropped a couple of f bombs indicating that Rock was not to say anything further about his wife.

Jada Pinkett Smith suffers from a condition called alopecia, which causes spotty loss of hair. It was unclear whether Rock was aware of this condition or had assumed it was a hairstyle choice.

It was a serious situation, but since we're not very serious here at klugness.com, we decided to make light of the matter by penning a funny top ten list of satirical reasons that Smith slapped Rock.