Top Ten Kyrsten Sinema Accomplishments (Mostly Satirical)

Survived a challenging childhood during which (she claims) she had no running water or electricity
When asked by a Capitol Hill reporter where she was on the infrastructure legislation, Sinema replied, "I'm in the Senate."
When the reporter pressed her for real information on where she stood on the legislation, she added, "I'm clearly right in front of the elevator."
Climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro
Parted ways with the Arizona Green party when she discovered the party's main focus wasn't on wearing green-colored outfits
Starred in the 1995 movie "Clueless"
Is able to run marathons and chew gum at the same time
Voted against Nancy Pelosi for speaker of the house
Has seen "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" 38 times
Was the runner up for the lead role on Disney's Hannah Montana TV program

Posted October 17, 2022; Written October 25, 2021

Commentary

What can we say about Kyrsten Sinema?

As she and Joe Manchin have been wooed by the White House for their crucial infrastructure votes, she's been notably opaque with the news media about what concessions she may want in order to win her vote. Of course, she's not obligated to share her negotiating strategy with anyone, but even so her coy persona has bordered on being...silly? Hmm, juvenile? Dare we say, ditzy?

These Kyrsten Sinema jokes are presented as a satirical top ten list of her accomplishments. Some items are based on facts (items 10, 9, 8, 7, 3) while others either totally made up or are only partially based on facts. For example, Senator Sinema is known to run marathons, but we have no idea whether she chews gum (item 4). And she did part ways with the Arizona Green party (item 6) but we totally made up the satirical reason why. Items 5, 2, and 1 are completely made up.

It's the made up parts that we think makes these jokes funny!