| Num | Sports Plays | Political Plays |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Balk: To attempt a pickoff move after the pitcher has started the windup; runner goes to next base (baseball) | To wait to criticize legislation until after it has passed both houses of Congress; jobless must go back to the previous base |
| 9.) | Play action: A play involving faking a handoff and then running a pass play (football) | A political play involving pretending to work hard, while actually watching cable news and placing phone calls to sycophants |
| 8.) | Hat-trick: To score three goals in a game (mainly hockey, soccer) | To pardon three criminals in one day |
| 7.) | Hail mary: A very long desperate pass into the end zone (football) | To place calls to 100+ Republicans in a desperate effort to convince them to overturn the election on your behalf |
| 6.) | Fake field goal: To pretend you're going to kick a field goal, then run a play (football) | To pretend you're in favor of $2,000 stimulus, then run to Mar-a-Lago |
| 5.) | Squeeze play: A risky play where the batter bunts and the runner on third base tries to score (baseball) | To bully a direct report into overthrowing the results of an election |
| 4.) | Ace: A serve that the opponent is unable to return or even touch (tennis, volleyball) | To perform well on a cognitive assessment |
| 3.) | Offside: A positioning infraction that fans of other sports are unable (or unwilling) to comprehend (hockey, soccer) | To walk ahead of the queen of another nation, causing many of its outraged citizens to drop their tea cups |
| 2.) | Birdie: A score of one stroke under par on a hole (golf) | To raise one's middle finger in a gesture of contempt |
| 1.) | Blitz: To pass rush extra players in an attempt to sack the quarterback (football) | To rile up your loyal supporters at a rally, and then send the angry mob to the Capitol to cause mayhem |
Posted October 17, 2022; Written January 7, 2021
Previous All Top Ten Lists Next