| Num | President Trump | Dr. Fauci |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Born in Queens | Born in Brooklyn |
| 9.) | Wears makeup | Wears a mask |
| 8.) | Better at shot-blocking | Better at limbo |
| 7.) | Name sounds like Gump | Name sounds like Rocky |
| 6.) | Pardoned Roger Stone | This space intentionally left blank |
| 5.) | Served hamberders to winning teams | Served as an advisor to six presidents |
| 4.) | People say he aced the cognitive test | Graduated first in class at Cornell |
| 3.) | Knows lots of swear words | Knows pseudo-Latin phrases like "illegitimi non carborundum" |
| 2.) | Doesn't want to talk to that little doomsayer | Remains in an extended "time out" as per Nurse Ratched's orders |
| 1.) | Probably can't throw the first pitch at a baseball game | Definitely can't throw the first pitch at a baseball game |
Posted October 17, 2022; Written September 4, 2020
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