Top Ten Mike Waltz Gaffes OR Incorrect Ways to Apply Sunscreen

As a youngster, he accidentally let a fox into the henhouse
Heated the suntan lotion to a boil to remove the impurities
Appeared on Judge Judy but didn't bring any receipts
Applied a thin layer of lotion about two minutes before going out into the Florida sun
Sent an email calling the boss "Old Yeller" to a small group of like-minded colleagues, but accidentally cc'd the boss on the message
Dabbed the suntan lotion gently into the armpits
Attempted to spray glass cleaner onto a window while the nozzle was still in the "off" position, and then brought in Elon Musk and his team to assess what could have gone wrong
Using steel wool, rubbed the lotion into exposed skin on arms and legs
Accidentally killed a ladybug, but when confronted, insisted it was a horsefly
Poured the suntan lotion into a vat and immersed entire head in it

Posted April 2, 2025

Commentary

Poor Mike Waltz. He made an honest but VERY embarrassing mistake. Coulda happened to anyone—imagine that you're emailing your buddies at work and saying "The boss's hairpiece looks like a shag carpet" and then realizing to your horror that you've cc'd the boss!

While we do feel some sympathy for Waltz and the other members of Trump's predominantly DEI cabinet who participated in the infamous Signal chat about a pending U.S. military operation, that's not going to stop us from trying to suss out humor from the awkward situation. As a deal sweetener, we've tried to enhance the humor by interspersing amongst the fake Mike Waltz gaffes various improper ways to apply sunscreen. Did the resulting zaniness move the humor needle? You be the judge. Ha!

Some items poke fun at the disastrous and embarrassing nature of the accident (items 10 and 6). Others just make Waltz seem clueless (items 8 and 4) or dishonest (item 2). All of these SignalGate joke items are interspersed with nutty, incorrect ways to apply sunscreen that rank high on the wackiness scale and make no sense at all (see the odd-numbered items).

Accompanying this funny top ten list are three AI-generated pictures. One is an image of a fox in a henhouse (item 10), a second is an image of a man appearing in court with no receipts (item 8), and the last is an image of a man trying to pet a German Shepherd at the White House. (Note that our initial draft of the top ten list included an item related to an imaginary Mike Waltz gaffe of attempting to pet a German Shepherd at the White House, but this item was cut prior to publication by our Department of Website Efficiency.) The joke behind the deleted item is an homage to Commander, the German Shepherd belonging to Joe Biden and living at the White House during Biden's term as president. Commander was notorious for biting Secret Service agents.

This image of "a fox in a henhouse" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

This image of "a man petting a German Shepherd at the White House" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

This image of "a man in court with empty pockets shrugging his shoulders" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.