Commentary
Many sample lists of funny, fake accomplishments have been circulated in the aftermath of last Saturday's infamous email to federal workers. The email called for the recipients to reply with a bullet point list of five accomplishments from the previous week. (Elon Musk separately threatened on X to terminate workers who didn't comply.) As the klugness website's response to the hubbub, we've decided to do our own funny top ten list, focusing oddly on a list of things that probably wouldn't be considered accomplishments.
Yeah, we've included the usual snark about Elon Musk (items 9, 5, and 2) and Donald Trump (item 7), but most of the items are aphorisms that have been turned on their heads (items 8, 6, 4, and 3). Item 1 is a joke that we thought of long ago and have been looking for an opportunity to use. Items 4, 2, and 1 are perhaps oblique references to the DOGE team's mistakes in adding up the savings from canceled goverment contracts.
We included a photo of a person leaping in the air to wake a sleeping dog, on the grounds that maybe it was unnecessary to wake the dog at all, or certainly to wake the dog in such an obnoxious manner. The downside of waking the dog is that Rover can be expected to be ornery after being torn out of a deep slumber, during which he perhaps dreamed of fathering 12-13 puppies, chewing on a bone, or biting several Secret Service agents. The other amusing thing about the image is that the leaping man is a funny reference to Musk's infamous midriff-baring fanboy leaps at Trump rallies, though obviously the dude in the accompanying AI-generated photo is not Elon Musk.
