Commentary
This funny top ten list closes out our two-list series on Trump's progress in meeting his 2024 campaign promises. Only problem is, it was funnier to make up the campaign promises than to list the real ones, so only a few of these are based on real campaign promises (items 10, 7, and 3).
Item 9 is a fun one. Trump seems to enjoy nominating poorly qualified people for cabinet positions, knowing that it will be controversial and irritate the heck out of Democrats. Yet, he has a pretty good idea that the Republicans will fall in line and get his nominees confirmed, which is why he stuck with Pete Hegseth even though he knew in his heart that Hegseth was a weak nominee. Perhaps Trump is cleverer than we give him credit for? That actually seems strategic in some weird, chaotic way.
Hmm, where were we? Ah, in item 8 we tried to create humor from hyperbole. For example, given that Trump plans to rename the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America, what's to stop him from changing the name of all 50 states so they start with a "T"? (Hmm, wonder if the new state names could be a five-list series?) Item 5 calls up memories of typical Trump misunderstandings, as we've pretended (without any evidence whatsoever) that his orangeness believes Olivia Newton-John was from Canada, even though she was born in Cambridge England and later lived in Australia. Ha! (Unfortunately, no one else thinks our jokes are as funny as we do.)
Item 4 is a joke about how it might be funny if Trump were to target former President Obama for deportation by ordering all left-handed people to be deported, then turn a callous eye to the collateral damage (e.g., conservative Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky is also left-handed).
Our view of Donald Trump as a crass New Yorker is the gist of item 1. We can totally picture him trying to play offensive words in Wordle (e.g., the "b word" or the "p word"), but then it occurred to us that he's unlikely to play any type of word game or puzzle that requires brain power—hence the "current status" for item 1! For fun, picture Seth Meyers reading the "current status" of Item 1 out loud in an imitation Trump voice! Ha!
This image of "rough map of North America, reflecting satirical name change of Canada to Xanadu" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
