| Num | Trump 2024 Campaign Promise (Satirical) | Current Status |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Reinstall diet coke button in the Oval Office | Done! |
| 9.) | Deport illegal aliens who are guilty of crimes | Woo hoo! |
| 8.) | Change the rules of Quidditch | Hmph...Professor McGonagall is suitably annoyed |
| 7.) | Ask Melania to wear a hat that makes it easy to kiss her at the inauguration | Doh! |
| 6.) | Ban Kansas City Chiefs from participating in State Farm commercials | Order issued, but immediately overturned by NFL refs |
| 5.) | Take official portrait that makes me look like the vengeful bastard that I am | Thumbs up! |
| 4.) | Install lap dance button in the Oval Office | Even Trump wouldn't be that crass—right? Er...right? |
| 3.) | Issue 30+ thousand executive orders during the first week in office | Thousand, lol |
| 2.) | Using confidential government databases, change Senator Elizabeth Warren's legal name to "Pocahontas" | It's official! |
| 1.) | End Ukraine war in first 24 hours | Hahahahaha |
Posted January 31, 2025
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