Top Ten Potential Cabinet Members if Trump Wins a Second Term (Part 2)

Top Ten Potential Cabinet Members if Trump Wins a Second Term—Part 2
Num	Cabinet Position	Satirical Nominee
10.)	Department of Housing and Urban Development	The Big Bad Wolf
9.)	Department of Education	Forrest Gump
8.)	Department of Homeland Security	Vladimir Putin
7.)	Department of Masculinity	Josh Hawley / Stephen Miller (tie)
6.)	Department of Henhouse Security	The fox from the fox-chicken-corn riddle
5.)	Department of Energy	Magneto / Electro (tie)
4.)	Department of State	Yosemite Sam
3.)	Department of Health and Perfectly Sane Human Services	Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
2.)	Department of The Enemy Within	The Hourglass
1.)	Attorney General	J. Wellington Wimpy

Posted November 4, 2024

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Commentary

With the 2024 U.S. presidential election imminent, we decided to speculate wildly about the people that Donald Trump may select for his cabinet positions in the (hopefully unlikely) event that the orange troublemaker wins a second term. Thus we present the second installment in a series of two snarky top ten lists about Trump's possible cabinet selections.

Given that the list is intended as a joke, we haven't limited our predictions to real people, as more than half of the items involve fictional characters, mostly culled from cartoons and movies. To enhance the fictitious theme, several of the cabinet positions shown are also made up (items 7, 6, and 2). We also edited the name of the cabinet position shown in item 3 for comedic purposes.

In many of these items we're shooting for irony, as you wouldn't expect an individual who's threatened to huff and puff and blow a house down to be nominated for a cabinet position related to housing (item 10). You also wouldn't generally expect the head of the U.S. state department (to which U.S. ambassadors to other countries report) to be a hot-tempered cowboy whose first impulse is to shout belligerently and fire his six-shooter (item 4). We've generally tried to exploit this "picking the wrong person for the job" theme for pretty much all of the items on this funny top ten list.

Item 1 is a spoof on how Donald Trump will be looking for a "yes man" as his attorney general for any second term (item 1). J. Wellington Wimpy (also known simply as "Wimpy") was a mild-mannered animated character in the "Popeye" cartoon (item 1). He was known to mooch hamburgers using the line "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." We're shooting for the theme of someone that Trump can easily bend to do his will, no matter how outrageous the request.

Top Ten Potential Cabinet Members if Trump Wins a Second Term—Part 2