Top Ten Beers OR Magical Creatures from Harry Potter

Tröegs Tröegenator Double Bock
Appaloosa Puffskein
Pilsner Urquell
Mackled Malaclaw
Gulden Draak
Jobberknoll
Schtüpulator
Dukuwaqa
Barrel Aged Frogichlaus
Blast-Ended Skrewt

Posted October 27, 2024

Commentary

We're shooting for wordplay humor here, so we aren't actually claiming that the beers and Harry Potter creatures shown here are objectively the ten best. See, you're supposed to read this funny top ten list and find that you're not 100% sure whether a Gulden Draak is a bird that makes no sounds until just before it dies, OR whether a Jobberknoll is a Belgian triple ale. Ha!

Sure, we may have overloaded the list with German Doppelbocks (items 10, 4, and 2) but that's mainly because they have cool names. We also included a pilsner from the Czech Republic (item 8) and a Belgian triple ale (item 6).

As for the Harry Potter creatures, some of them are nefarious and could potentially threaten to: bring bad luck (item 7), turn a human into a shark (item 3), or shoot sparks out of its nether end (item 1). Even so, one is small and fluffy and can serve as a suitable pet for young wizards (item 9). We didn't include any types of dragons even though they could have been useful because they often have two-word names (e.g., Norwegian Ridgeback)—like many beers!

Maybe we'll stretch this topic into a series at some point? Who knows...

This image of "a made up beer called Swarthy Brick Bock" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page. This imaginary brew was first introduced in List 98 of the Top Ten Worst Microbrews (Satirical), but now we have a picture!!