Top Ten 2024 U.S. VP Candidate Whimsical Comparo

Top Ten 2024 U.S. Vice Presidential Candidate Whimsical Comparo
Num	JD Vance	Tim Walz
10.)	Ohio Senator	Minnesota Governor
9.)	Secret Service codename Bobcat	Dog named Scout, cat named Honey
8.)	Age 40	Age 60
7.)	Marines	Army
6.)	Loves Diet Mountain Dew	Loves Diet Mountain Dew
5.)	Enthusiastically supported by Elon Musk	This item left intentionally blank
4.)	Author of "Hillbilly Elegy"	High school social studies teacher and football coach
3.)	Yale Law School	Chadron State College
2.)	Beard and smoky blue eyes	Gray hair and indeterminate eyes
1.)	Called the other side "childless cat ladies"	Called the other side "weird"

Posted August 11, 2024

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Commentary

While not funny per se, we thought it would be fun to do a whimsical comparo of the two vice presidential candidates chosen by the actual and presumed nominees for the 2024 U.S. presidential election. And so we present this quirky side-by-side top ten comparison of JD Vance and Tim Walz.

Both candidates hail from the midwest (item 10), with JD Vance having a more elite biography than the more ordinary Tim Walz (item 3). However, Vance rose to his elite status from humble beginnings (item 4). Vance is more youthful (item 8) and seemingly more glamorous, as his dreamy blue eyes and dark black eyelashes are an internet sensation (item 2). Obviously that has nothing to do with policy positions and so forth, but hey—we admitted up front that this content was more whimsical than incisive.

A whimsical area of overlap is that both candidates enjoy Diet Mountain Dew (item 6). For reasons we don't entirely understand, we mostly avoided writing snarky items for this top ten list, though an exception is item 5 where we audibly rolled our eyes at the mention of Elon Musk. Ugh!

The serious items helped paint a picture of the two candidates, but we feel a little deflated that we weren't able to include more whimsical ones. For example, JD Vance has three kids: Ewan, Vivek, and Maribel, while Tim Walz has two kids: Hope and Gus. This has nothing to do with the price of tea in China, but we think it's fun. Vance is married to a lawyer, while Walz is married to a teacher. Walz is a teetotaler. Vance was raised by Papaw and Mamaw.

Top Ten 2024 U.S. Vice Presidential Candidate Whimsical Comparo