Top Ten Things We Can Learn from Beastie Boys Songs (Part 1)

Top Ten Things We Can Learn from Beastie Boys Songs (Part 1)
Num	Insightful Lyric	Name of Song / Album
10.)	The girl is crafty like ice is cold	She's Crafty / Licensed to Ill
9.)	I got more juice than Picasso's got paint	The New Style / Licensed to Ill
8.)	That hypocrite smokes two packs a day	Fight for Your Right / Licensed to Ill
7.)	I got trees on my mirror so my car won't smell	Slow Ride / Licensed to Ill
6.)	This time I'm losing my mind	So What'cha Want / Check Your Head
5.)	I keep my underwear up with a piece of elastic	Sure Shot / Ill Communications
4.)	I'm as cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce	So What'cha Want / Check Your Head
3.)	Like Ma Bell, I got the ill communications	Sure Shot / Ill Communications
2.)	I've got a hole in my head and there's no one to fix it	Sure Shot / Ill Communications
1.)	White Castle fries only come in one size	Slow and Low / Licensed to Ill

Posted August 4, 2024

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Commentary

We're reminded of a "Beavis and Butthead" episode (Citizen Butt-head) wherein Beavis and Butthead claim that the video of the song "Whoomp! (There It Is)" could be a useful tool for teaching kids to read.

Whaa? Seems ridiculous, of course...but hey, if that's a good song for teaching kids to read, then maybe we can learn things from Beastie Boys songs as well? Perhaps the information nugget "White Castle fries only come in one size" (item 1) will one day help an aspiring student pass the SAT? Ha!

Sure, the Beastie Boys' songs had lyrics that were sometimes juvenile or silly, but we loved the way they enunciated the words like what they had to say was important. No mumbling from them, or from Run-DMC for that matter!

This funny top ten list is dedicated to the memory of Adam "MCA" Yauch, the gruff-voiced beastie who belted out the lyric "White Castle fries only come in one size" on "Slow and Low" from the Beastie Boys' 1986 debut album "Licensed to Ill." Yauch also delivered the information nugget "That hypocrite smokes two packs a day" (item 8) on the hit song "Fight for Your Right," which is also from "Licensed to Ill." Ah, memories.

Sadly, Yauch passed away on May 4, 2012 from cancer, not long after the band was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In an homage to Yauch, we've timed the publication of this top ten list to drop just prior to his would-be 60th birthday (August 5, 2024).

Note we attempted to induce chatGPT to generate an image of two packs of cigarettes in the foreground and a calendar showing August 5 (MCA's birthday) in the background, but the software was ornery about showing two packs (consistent with item 8), so we gave up and accepted the pic as is. It's worth every penny we paid for it!

R-I-P and happy birthday, MCA. We miss you, man!

This image of "photo of 2 packs of cigarettes in the foreground and a page from a calendar showing August 5 in the background" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.