Top Ten U.S. Presidential Debate Surprises

President Biden tests positive for prune juice
Former President Trump tests positive for diet coke
Biden confuses a question about immigration as being about inflation, then wanders aimlessly off stage
Trump grows frustrated that his microphone is turned off while he keeps trying to interrupt, so he pushes Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese, and President Biden to the ground
When asked whether he has what it takes to complete a second term, Biden responds only with a thumbs up motion
When asked a question about election integrity, Trump pivots to sharks and electric batteries in boats
In an effort to appear youthful, Biden does a photo op next to June Squibb (who stars as 93-year-old Thelma Post in "Thelma")
Trump fails to appear at the debate and blames his absence on Nancy Pelosi, windmills, and sharks
In an effort to get Trump rattled, Biden calls Trump a "loser" and then casually smiles and licks a Graeters Chocolate Chip ice cream cone while Trump gives his rebuttal
Trump asks Biden if that's a Mountain Dew in his pocket or he's just happy to see him

Posted June 27, 2024

Commentary

We're not sure what to expect from the June 27, 2024 debate between President Biden and former President Trump, but as a humor website we feel obligated to fill all voids with humorous speculation. Thus we now speculate wildly about surprises that may occur during the CNN presidential debate in Atlanta.

Some of the items are references to Trump's suggestion that both participants be tested for drugs (items 10 and 9) or that Biden may be "jacked up" in some way (item 1). Item 7 is a riff on debate rules and WNBA happenings.

Items 5 and 3 are riffs on Trump's recent fascination with sharks, and whether it's preferable to die by being electrocuted by an electric boat battery or take a chance on being attacked by a nearby shark. Item 4 is a riff on a newly released movie. Item 2 is a riff on debate strategy and Biden's favorite ice cream flavor.