Top Ten Presidential Priorities of Dr. Seuss

Refers to his Chief of Staff as "Sam-I-Am"
Threatens Congress that if they fail to implement his agenda, they'll have to deal with the Wickersham brothers
During cabinet meetings he suddenly exclaims, "Boil that dust speck!"
Allows visiting children to fly kites in the Oval Office
Implements rule that Congress must draft all bills using only 236 different words
Requires cabinet members to wear bar-ba-loot suits
Has Dick and Jane brought in and then bound and gagged before his eyes
Implements new rule that Presidential Daily Briefings be written in anapester tetrameter
Bans Truffula fruit from the White House menu
Insists that his chicken nuggets be cooked in beezlenut oil

Posted May 7, 2024

Commentary

This funny top ten list satirically imagines what type of priorities Dr. Seuss would have if he were the U.S. president. Dr. Seuss was a famous children's book author who passed away in 1991.

Most of the jokes are riffs on elements from Dr. Seuss's children's books. Item 10 is a riff on "Green Eggs and Ham." Three of the items are based on "Horton Hears a Who!" (items 9, 8, and 1). Items 7 and 6 are riffs on "The Cat in the Hat," while items 5 and 2 relate to "The Lorax."

Other items are more general references to Dr. Seuss, such as item 3 which relates to his writing style and item 4 which relates to "The Cat in the Hat" (1957) being seen as a more interesting alternative to the bland "Dick and Jane" books for beginning readers.

One awkward aspect of this funny top ten list is that it doesn't include any references to "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," which is probably Dr. Seuss's most famous work.

This image of "a vivid scene showing a child flying a kite inside a stodgy office. The office is furnished with a large wooden desk in a dark cherry color" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.