| Num | Alina Habba | Haley Dunphy |
|---|---|---|
| 10.) | Attempted to read aloud from a document not in evidence | Rubbed her phone battery on her head to recharge it |
| 9.) | Prioritized pleasing her client over respecting the judge | Even someone as dumb as me can see I'm a giant failure |
| 8.) | Key defense strategy: being disruptive in court | Tried to manipulate her parents to get her way |
| 7.) | Said the Ukrainians paid the Biden Crime Family millions and millions of dollars | You know what's even nerdier than fencing? Knowing when it started |
| 6.) | Failed to stand up when speaking in court | Mom had to take Alex to the oncologist...she needed new glasses |
| 5.) | Said that President Trump is under siege in a way that we have never seen before | With great hotness comes great responsibility |
| 4.) | Asked for an adjournment of the trial so that Trump could attend his mother-in-law's funeral | Ok on one hand I'm like ugh I have to pick up garbage all day and on the other hand I'm like wow look at me in orange! |
| 3.) | Flunked Evidence 101 | That's a library? I thought it was a church for a religion that didn't allow makeup |
| 2.) | For any attorney to get the privilege to work with President Trump catapults your career and is frankly an honor | Ugh! I need Instagram to know there's still beauty in the world |
| 1.) | Would rather be pretty than smart, because she "can fake being smart" | If it were easy, everyone would be hot |
Posted February 1, 2024
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