Top Ten Satirical Reasons Kevin McCarthy was Removed as Speaker of the House

He played B-17
Mishandled a large shipment of seasonal Krispy Kreme pumpkin spice donuts
Forgot to tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
Averted a government shutdown; unfortunately, the eight-member Problem Causer caucus has zero tolerance for accomplishments
It has recently come to our attention that he's Irish
During closed-door meetings, kept dressing up as Darth Vader and saying, "I am your father, Matt"
Recent revelation that he shot Tupac
He had three choices: step down, get electrocuted, or get eaten by a shark
Something something something Joe Biden's dog
He tore off a mattress tag

Posted October 5, 2023