Top Ten Break Up Reasons

Smelly feet
Favorite musical artist is Kenny G
She turned me into a newt!
He can't land a space capsule on the moon's south pole no matter how much I criticize him
Insists his hair is strawberry blonde
Favorite movie is Mean Girls
He refuses to pay for the Uber from the trailer park to the movie theater, or back
Knowing that I'm a big Santana fan, she tried to convince me that "Oye Cómo Va" means "Honey, I'll do the dishes"
Something something something Ring doorbell video
Found out that he's a registered Democrat

Posted September 20, 2023

Commentary

Yeah, we usually don't do funny top ten lists on timeless topics like "how to behave in an elevator" but we made an exception this time, mostly because we wanted to use item 1 as the reason for a breakup.

Of course, item 1 is inspired by the recent dustup regarding U.S. Representative Lauren Boebert's and her date's crass behavior at a recent performance of "Beetlejuice" in Denver. That the "reasons for break ups" topic appears timeless is kinda misleading though, because some of the content of this list is based on current events (items 7, 6, 3, and 2). As Run DMC would say, "It's tricky."

Most of the other items are motivated by general wackiness. Item 8 is a cryptic reference to a classic comedy movie from 1975 (Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Hey, if Ted Lasso can make jokes about ZZ Top (a band that was mostly popular in the 1970s and 80s) and their trademark beards, maybe older folks who search for "funny top ten lists" will appreciate our Monty Python references and become repeat visitors to the klugness.com site?

Nah.

This image of "smelly feet" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

This image of "a space capsule landing on the moon" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. (It does not depict an actual space capsule landing on the moon.) The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.