Top Ten Jimmy Buffett Regrets

Despite diligent search, never found employment as a pirate
Didn't buy stock in Gulf & Western
Stepped on a pop top / blew out his flip flop (tie)
Insert item about rum, grapefruit, or Juicy Fruit here
Mom always asking why he couldn't be more like Uncle Warren
Smidgen of doubt over his 1970s decision not to wear underwear
Didn't trademark the phrase "Tropical Rock"
Couldn't think of any lyrics that rhyme with "sailor" except "jailer" and "trailer"
Didn't take seriously Weird Al's request to record a parody song called "Son of a Son of a Cheeseburger"
Despite diligent search, never found his lost shaker of salt

Posted September 6, 2023

Commentary

Jimmy Buffett's 1977 hit "Margaritaville" brings back teenage memories from the neighborhood pool where the then-youthful Klugness.com brain trust mentally linked "wasting away again in Margaritaville" with girls in swimsuits and the intoxicating fragrance of Coppertone suntan lotion. Ah, memories...

In our heads 1977 was the same year as "Sara Smile" and "Time for Me to Fly," but we're guessing that a quick google search (which we're too lazy to conduct) may confirm otherwise. Ah well—at least we're pretty sure we have the right decade. Hmm, where were we?

During college we also had the pleasure of attending an annual "Jimmy Buffett Florida Daiquiri Party" organized by a couple of Buffett fans from Florida. Even so, we never really bought into the concept of "island escapism," not to mention songs that would make grandma blush—matter of fact, our fave Buffett song is actually "Pencil Thin Mustache" which isn't even one of the "Big Eight" songs that Buffett performed at every concert. Dag—happened again—where were we?

In summary, we're not entirely sure whether this funny top ten list is a quirky sendoff to Jimmy Buffett (who died on September 1, 2023 at age 76) or an ode to girls in swimsuits at the neighborhood pool in 1977.

This image of "flip flops and a margarita" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.