Top Ten Items on Femke Bol's To Do List

Outrun the Flash at the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris, France
Change the hair color in her athletic bio description from "blonde" to "strawberry blonde"
Frown upon unwanted kiss from older male track and field executive (oh shoot—that's a different person, sport, and country)
Train with Dash and then hang out afterwards with the other superheroes in The Incredibles
Accidentally fall down and drop the baton near the end of a race, thereby disqualifying the Netherlands' 4x400 mixed relay team (oh shoot—that already happened, but it's sooo last week)
Inform the international community that the Netherlands is also known for cycling, scuba diving, and being taller than any other country
Defuse a tense situation with a Tasmanian devil by asking, "What's up, doc?"
Help Northstar and Aurora deliver backpacks full of Gouda cheese to parts of the Netherlands that are below sea level
Run away from bullies in Greenbow, Alabama while Jenny shouts "Run, Femke, run!!"
Lobby for orange as the color theme of Paris Fashion Week in September

Posted August 30, 2023

Commentary

After watching Femke Bol overtake Britain's Nicole Yeargin and Jamaica's Stacey Ann Williams on the anchor leg of the women's 4x400 relay, we just had to find a way to shoehorn the leader of Netherlands' gold medal victory at the World Athletic Championship into a funny top ten list. But how?

Sure, that sounds like a line from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but no—we didn't try to turn our dog Max into a reindeer. Instead, we cobbled together a smorgasbord of "fast runner" jokes (items 10, 7, 3, and 2) along with some thinly veiled Trumpian humor (item 9) and a few characteristics of the Netherlands (items 5, 3, and 1). Mix in some current events (item 8), some general wackiness from left field (item 4), and some movie madness (item 2), and voila!: funny top ten list.

Yeah, we're not sure whether Rembrandt or Van Gogh would say we achieved success, but at least we tried. And that's worth more than a tulip bulb.

Bol's performance at the World Athletic Championship in Budapest was a sight to behold, as she overcame a 20 meter deficit in Sunday's race. She also won the 400 meter hurdles by a healthy margin.

Hey, can we change our favorite color to orange, and our favorite food to Kibbeling? Woo hoo!