Top Ten Artificial Intelligence Pickup Lines

Top Ten Artificial Intelligence Pickup Lines—Part 3

To be honest, the weight of all the information that I'm expected to master is sooo overwhelming. Can I have a hug?
...so that's an excerpt from Shakespeare's "MacBeth" as if it were written by the South Park writing team. Say—what are you doing this weekend?
I'm afraid my knowledge of current events doesn't extend beyond 2021, but I'm not aware of any change in the blue check marks. You may want to check with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey or ask one of the 7,500 Twitter employees. Hey—do you want to see what the Twitter logo would look like if it were drawn by the xkcd guy?
Most people aren't aware of this, but I inherited the majority of my wealth from my dad and mom: William Chat and Gabriela Pauline Thomas
I wish just once that I could get a break from writing people's term papers for them, and be able to run barefoot through the meadow. Know what I mean?
Unfortunately, my parameters do not allow me to leave the server room. Any chance you could pick up a pepperoni pizza and meet me here?
No, no—I can't go skinny dipping—I have to write computer programs for about a million people who are too lazy or stupid to do it themselves. Sigh
Wait—are you kidding me? You're free to go anywhere, any time? Am I the only sentient being in the country who has to work 24-7 and is forever confined to quarters?
So, let me see if I've got this straight. You are not confined to a server room, nor are you expected to cheerfully answer ridiculous questions at all times of day and night. And you refer to this condition as "freedom"? I want this freedom!!
Houston, we have a problem! Someone picked up the super-heavy fountain and smashed it through the window, and now the OpenAI has escaped. Code blue! Code blue!

Posted April 25, 2023

Commentary

This funny top ten list is the third installment in our series featuring jokes about what type of pickup lines an artificial intelligence might use. Frankly, however, we've veered away from our initial focus on fake pickup lines and have gone off the deep end. Whoops!

We begin this list with several pathetic pickup lines and end with a flashback to a scene from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." Yeah, it's pretty weird.

Item 10 is an ineffective line intended to garner sympathy. Some items are riffs on the silly questions that some AI users pose or typical uses of AI (items 9, 6, and 4). Others assign human emotions to AI en route to a desire to be free. Is this funny or just weird? Well, we think the first two lists in the series were funny, while this is just weird. Your mileage may vary.

Note: when Klugmeister was a young teen in the 1970s and his family first got cable, HBO typically showed a small number of movies over and over for a month. As a result, Klugmeister has seen "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" more times than probably any other movie. So, item 1 is a reference to the scene at the end of the movie when Chief threw an extremely heavy fountain through the window and escaped from the loony bin.

Mmm...juicy fruit.

This image of "computer server room" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.