Top Ten Surprising (But Fake) Things from Donald Trump's Arrest

Top Ten Surprising (But Fake) Things from Donald Trump's Arrest and Arraignment

Marjorie Taylor Greene insisted (via megaphone) that the arrest was a fragrant violation of Trump's rights
In an effort to bolster his "I'm innocent" claim, Trump resisted the urge to hit on the cute blonde officer in the hallway
Lindsey Graham attended the arraignment but had to be removed from the courtroom due to his loud, hysterical crying
A court officer didn't hold the door open for Trump, so one of Trump's superhero NFTs wrestled him to the floor
Trump felt that the judge's decision not to allow the J6 Choir to perform at the arraignment was very, very unfair
A man resembling Ron DeSantis burned rubber on his Harley in front of the courthouse—New York police are now on the lookout for a dorky-looking dude with white boots
Trump tore up his copy of the indictment and vowed to promptly deliver the shreds to the National Archives
Marjorie Taylor Greene described the proceedings as disgusting, filthy, repulsive (whoops, never mind—those are the words she used to describe New York)
Trump taunted the judge by emphatically pointing at his ring finger and then doing the "you can't see me" hand gesture (oh shoot—that was LSU basketball player Angel Reese)
When asked whether he pleads guilty or not guilty on the charges, Trump lined up three empty Bud Light cans on the banister, shot them one by one with a 45, replied "Not guilty," then sat down and blew on the shooting end of the 45

Posted April 7, 2023

Commentary

We've decided to poke fun at Donald Trump's arraignment on April 4, 2023 with this funny top ten list about surprising things that may or may not have happened that day. Note several of these items are made up, as we are often prone to do in our relentless pursuit of humor.

Item 7 includes a nugget of truth but the other items are totally made up using, quite frankly, an impressive amount of comedic talent; don't let the fact that they look like they could have been cooked up by your average third grader taint your perception of our humorcraft. Selah.

By all accounts Trump was well behaved and respectful during the arraignment, so where do we get some of these nutty items? Frankly many of the items are based on bold things that seem like Trump may fantasize about doing (items 6, 4, and 1) even though he didn't do anything of the sort.

We can't seem to stop poking fun at Marjorie Taylor Greene's frequent word gaffes (item 10), and Lindsey Graham's recent Fox News appeals to send money cries out to be made fun of (item 8). The subject of athletic taunting and double standards has been in the news, so we snuck in a reference to that (item 2).

Three Bud Light cans on floor