Top Ten Things in Hugh Grant's Underpants

Top Ten Things in Hugh Grant's Underpants (Satirical)

sawdust
a list of places he'd rather be
broken-up saltine crackers that he has sweated on
dementors
a plastic baggie filled with instant grits and nutmeg
a euphorbia plant
the obituaries of everyone he once knew and loved
pine needles / pine sap (tie)
a small stray plastic cap from a bottled water, which is now digging into his butt cheek—he's not sure how it got in his underpants, but he's not sure how they get in his bed either
a jar of conjealed sadness

Posted March 13, 2023

Commentary

Hugh Grant's grumpy red-carpet interview (whoops, that's champagne carpet) conducted by model Ashley Graham is a head-scratcher as we look back at the Oscars on the day after.

Did he just not want to be there? If so, then why did he go? (Oh, that's right—he was a presenter.) And couldn't he have just acted like he wanted to be there for just a minute or two? (He is an actor after all.) Was he disappointed that he wasn't being interviewed by Barbara Walters? Maybe he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

He almost seemed irritated that they'd selected him for an interview to the point that he downplayed his role in Glass Onion—"Well, I'm barely in it—I'm only in it for about three seconds." Maybe we should be glad he didn't win an Oscar as he might have self-deprecatingly insisted he didn't deserve it, thanked all the people who are more deserving, put the Oscar down on the floor, and walked out.

We decided to make light of Grant's gloomy interview by penning this funny top ten list of satirical things in Hugh Grant's underpants. Enjoy!

This image of "saltine crackers that have been broken up" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.