Top Ten Things in Ted Cruz's Beard

Professor Dumbledore
a book of Cruz's favorite sonnets
four professional snow skiers from Switzerland
an airplane ticket to Cancun
a patch of globe thistle (echinops ritro)
Mr. Brady's missing architectural plans
a mint-condition copy of the Constitution (in the original, unopened shrink wrap!)
the music video of ZZ Top's "Legs"
Marco Rubio (trying desperately to climb out)
a pair of frightened five year olds named Emma and Ava

Posted March 8, 2023