Top Ten Challenging Situations

Your prom date brings a large white balloon to prom, and pairs it with a matching egret wool coat
You're forced to battle the dude from Gladiator armed only with the gear shift knob from Matt Gaetz's sports car
Something something something Hunter Biden's laptop
You were standing in the middle of Fifth Aisle when Mitt Romney kicked you in the ass and stole your shoes. It all happened in broad daylight, and no one did anything!
When you like try and try to become a lawyer but people don't like take you seriously and you're not like sure why
First Kevin McCarthy tries to shush you when you're working out at the gym, then you get hassled by the gazpacho police in a fragrant violation of your rights
You're tempted to click on that perpetual internet headline about whether the floating door from Titanic could have supported both Rose and Jack
Joe Biden takes literally forever to shoot down the Chinese spy balloon when Donald Trump would have shot it down immediately if he was still commander and chief
You're left in disbelief that an addled old grampa successfully performed a Yoda mind trick to force you and your GOP colleagues to publicly agree not to cut Social Security and Medicare
You're not sure how to react when Jill Biden unexpectedly kisses you on the lips

Posted February 12, 2023

Commentary

"Top Ten Challenging Situations" sounds like a "go anywhere, any time" topic for a funny top ten list, but many of the items are riffs on the February 7, 2023 State of the Union speech (items 10, 7, 5, 2, and 1).

Marjorie Taylor Greene's white balloon and alpaca wool coat generated a lot of discussion. We referenced that directly in item 10, and then mixed in a few references to Greene's historical gaffes regarding words and phrases that the average third grader probably would have no trouble with (items 5 and 3).

In item 7 we called up memories of the confrontational discussion between Mitt Romney and George Santos in the aisle prior to the State of the Union speech. We then mashed it up by turning it into a reference to Santos' whopper lie about his shoes being stolen from him on Fifth Avenue in broad daylight. For reasons we don't entirely understand, the Romney-Santos confrontation reminds us of a 1990 confrontation between Carlton Fisk and Deion Sanders at home plate.

Ah, memories.