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klugness

The website for funny top ten lists and other satire

Top Ten Dueling Lies

Num George Santos Donald Trump
10.) Worked at Citigroup Nobody knows more about technology than me
9.) Ran a foundation called Friends of Pets United, saving 2,500 dogs and cats The DJT Foundation, unlike most foundations, never paid fees, rent, salaries, or any expenses. 100% of the money goes to wonderful charities!
8.) Ranked in the top 1% of his class at Baruch College We've never had an empty seat
7.) Under the pseudonym Kitara Rivache, competed in drag queen beauty contests in Brazil Under the pseudonym John Barron, lied about his wealth and assets to get on the Forbes 400 list during the 1980s
6.) Got an MBA from NYU I know more about Isis than the generals do, believe me
5.) Worked at Goldman Sachs Everybody who wants a test can get a test
4.) Got both knees replaced as a result of playing volleyball at Baruch College Would totally have fought in the Vietnam War if not for the doggone bone spurs
3.) His Jewish grandparents survived the Holocaust The birth certificate is missing. I've been told that it's not there or it doesn't exist
2.) Was a star on the volleyball team at Baruch College Nobody respects women more than me
1.) Got mugged in broad daylight on Fifth Avenue in New York, and the thieves stole his watch, briefcase, and shoes! Who is this guy—Jussie Smollett? Even I don't make up lies this absurd!

Posted February 3, 2023

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