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klugness

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Top Ten Sam Bankman-Fried Excuses for the FTX Collapse (Satirical)—Part 2

  1. Got distracted when Mr. Hand gave away several slices of his pizza
  2. Realizes he messed up as FTX CEO but notes in his favor "I'm an excellent driver"
  3. Upset that Jenny didn't take him seriously when he claimed he'd make a good husband
  4. Now believes it was a mistake to convince FTX customers that young Sheldon can drive an 18 wheeler
  5. Thinks the missing crypto may be in Wakanda, or maybe Pandora? Please hold while he checks his notes...
  6. After the collapse of FTX, will now get his boxer shorts at K-Mart in Cincinnati
  7. The whole Amy Robach / T.J. Holmes affair has him in a tizzy
  8. Hasn't been himself ever since James Cameron made him hold his breath under water for six or seven minutes (not sure of exact length of time because the daggum Chapter 11 FTX CEO won't grant him access to his notes)
  9. Unsure whether he or Skipper should go to the lagoon?
  10. Everything seemed to fall apart while he was out having lunch with Boris Johnson and Pig-Pen

Posted December 21, 2022

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cheese pizza

This image of "cheese pizza" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

boxer shorts

This image of "boxer shorts" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.