Top Ten Comparisons between Liz Cheney and a Black Bear

Both enjoy salmon
The black bear is afraid of Trump
Both have a low opinion of Josh Hawley
Cheney doesn't climb trees, even when being chased
Both hail from Wyoming, but have visited other states
While black bears are generally conservative, the black bear can't match Liz Cheney's record of voting in line with Trump's position 93% of the time
Both enjoy spending time in America's national parks
Cheney would never invade others' campgrounds in search of food
Both will fight aggressively to defend their cubs or the Constitution, as appropriate
The black bear is unwilling to lose a coveted position as a matter of standing on principle

Posted October 17, 2022; Written October 16, 2022

Commentary

What do Liz Cheney and a black bear have in common? Nothing, it would seem, but that won't stop us from trying to get creative with this challenging assignment.

"Ok," you might point out, "I'll stipulate that both humans and black bears enjoy eating salmon, but why Liz Cheney specifically?" Well, why not Liz Cheney? Dude, who said humor was easy?

Also, you'll likely point out that, as far as anyone knows, black bears don't have political positions. Or do they? Perhaps they lean conservative, and you just didn't know it, because you're not thinking outside the box. You may be assuming, for example, that black bears take after grizzly bears, who are notoriously indifferent to politics. Well, I happen to have met several black bears who feel they pay enough in taxes, and that if anyone needs to pay more, it's the wolves—especially the hoity toity ones in Yellowstone.

Sure, this topic is out of left field, but we hope you enjoyed this funny top ten list about comparisons between Liz Cheney and black bears.