The website for funny top ten lists and other satire
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Quote of the Week
The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides
Henri Frédéric Amiel
Bible Verse of the Week
Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and for evermore. From the rising of the going down of the same the Lord's name is be praised
Psalm 113:2-3 (KJV)
Whimsical Phrase of the Week
Because of you, the future of the entire universe is in jeopardy
Buzz Lightyear in "Toy Story" (1995)
Social Media Analytics
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Klugmeister Correctly Foresees the Stranger Things Release Date
Has it been almost three years since our webmaster attempted to forecast the release date of Stranger Things Season Five? Indeed it has.
On November 19, 2022 Klugmeister penned a tongue-in-cheek blog post wherein he laid out potential release dates for the long-awaited Season 5 based on three different approaches. Two approaches were mathematically rigorous; one was very simple.
As fate would have it, one of the approaches produced a forecast that turned out to be very close to the right answer. The winning prediction of December 20, 2025—based on a least squares regression line—is squarely within the range of release dates. (Klugmeister, a recovering math nerd, insisted that we point out that it was based on a least squares regression line.) The actual results are: the initial batch of four episodes (in "Volume 1") drops on November 26, 2025 (the day before Thanksgiving). The three episodes in the second batch ("Volume 2") drop on December 25, 2025 (Christmas), and the Season 5 finale drops on December 31, 2025 (New Year's Eve). Episodes drop at 5 p.m. Pacific Time (8:00 p.m. for us folks in the Eastern time zone).
Technically, our guess was 24 days off from the initial drop, but we're still proud that one of our three guesses from three years ago came so close to the right answer. Matter of fact, we award ourselves a gold star, an A+, and—by the way—could you please nominate us for the Nobel Peace Prize we so desperately want? Thanks a bunch!
You can check out the whimsical blog post from almost three years ago at this link.
October 2025 Anniversary Celebration
Our favorite website turns 3 years old on October 17, 2025. Hmm, has it really been three years since we launched the klugness (pronounced "kloog-ness") site? Why yes, Scarlet—it has.
We've decided to set aside the entire month of October 2025 to celebrate this anniversary achievement. As part of that celebration, we'll be making updates to this home page every day during the month of October. Please check us out daily during October to get a guided tour down memory lane.
What do we have planned, you ask? One example is that our webmaster has used his knowledge of PHP programming to set up a daily "slide show" of selected funny top ten lists from our first three years of existence. The grouchy dude programmed it all up front so that the "throwback list of the day" changes automatically each day during October 2025—even if the old fart takes a nap and forgets to update it! So bookmark our site and check back every day during October for the Throwback List of the Day. Thank you!!
In celebration of making it to this milestone, we've assembled the following summary of feedback we've received this year from our enthusiastic fan base. Thanks to everyone who submitted comments via our secure WeMadeThisUp app!
The top ten lists are cool, but the blog is even better! Hey, when is Dorkmeister gonna write some new content?
George P. Burdell
I wish MAD Magazine were still producing new content, but you guys aren't half bad.
Alfred E. Neuman
WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ILLEGAL! YOU WOULD BE IN BIG TROUBLE IF ANYONE HAD EVER HEARD OF THIS SITE
DJT
Don't think twice, it's all right
Bob Dylan
You guys are pretty cool. How'd you like to be Roman citizens?
Julius Caesar
Thanks for your support and encouragement!
This image of "a snowflake saying 'I'm special' " was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
Top Ten Signs that You Might Be a Snowflake
You get all crybaby over an escalator malfunction
You break down in tears when an immigrant doesn't receive hugs, kisses, and free health care upon illegal entry to the U.S.
You cancel an imminent visit to an American military cemetery in France because your hair might get wet
You melt down if a work colleague passes you in the hall and doesn't say hello
You complain constantly that you're being treated unfairly
You can't handle being locked in a warm greenhouse by Professor Hinkle—even considering that you had your friend Karen there with you!
You require a sickening level of sycophantic praise from your department heads during staff meetings
You believe you're special
You sic the DOJ on your enemies (e.g., James Comey and other radical left Democrats)
You're unable to withstand being brutally mocked by late-night comedians each and every night, but even so you pretend that your opposition is based on low ratings
The U.S. website www.klugness.com was launched in October 2022 with over 100 funny top ten lists, and has since increased that number to over 200. The klugness site doesn't include jokes in the traditional sense, but is dedicated to humor using a David Letterman-style top ten list format. A portion of the content focuses on American politics, with the site generally leaning left, while the rest is garden-variety humor ala MAD magazine. We hope you enjoy the site!
This image of "a teenage girl pointing a wand and saying 'Obliviate!' in a word bubble, and another teenager emerging from behind a rock and pointing their wand back and saying 'Parcheesi!' " was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page. This image appears on List 234 - Top Ten Harry Potter Spells OR Board Games—Part 1.
This home page shows the most recent top ten list. Please check out the full archive of funny top ten lists on klugness.com at All Top Ten Lists. Note these lists were created up to six years ago, even though the klugness site itself is two years old (we'll be free years old on October 17). The archive page also includes a "List Sampler" table of 18 selected funny top ten lists that will give you a sense of our content without having to tackle all 200+ funny top ten lists. Beneath the "List Sampler" is information about the pictures we've been adding to the site since the beginning of 2023. The pictures are generated using a combination of artificial intelligence and traditional means.
This image of "a doctor trying to resuscitate a red 250cc street motorcycle" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
In the Imagining Things blog, we've posted the third (and final) installment in a series of three blog posts about our eccentric webmaster's first motorcycle. This third blog post covers The Death of Klugmeister's Red Motorcycle. In this post, our webmaster describes an attempted trip to Key West that didn't work out so well. As he mulled this story lately, Klugmeister has been getting nostalgic about his li'l red Honda Rebel 250—though that's not the bike in the accompanying image, which was generated by AI. In other heartwarming news, our webmaster is continuing to make an effort to post new material to the Imagining Things blog on a more consistent basis.
Getting back to the funny top ten lists, we offer a couple of targeted subsets that focus on particular themes. For example, the Trump-Themed Lists are critical of President Trump, so you won't like them if you're a Trump aficionado.
Another theme is the clever May 2020 Now vs. Then series, which consists of 10 funny top ten lists that compare and contrast the initial coronavirus times to historical times in an amusing way (e.g., "stay at home" vs. "rock and roll all nite"). That early pandemic theme was created in 2000, but it feels sooo ancient! Based on viewership of these pages, it appears that most folks are loathe to revisit that challenging period, and we don't blame you!
Note that the themed lists are also included on the All Top Ten Lists archive (i.e., the themed lists are a subset of the full archive), so if you looked at the full archive, you won't find any new material on the themed lists. This handy bit of intell could free up more time for you to gaze at your phone, ponder the government shutdown, or watch a former Fox News host give a condescending speech to the generals he summoned from afar.
For general information about klugness.com (including frequently asked questions, privacy policy, how to pronounce "klugness," etc.), use the following link: About.
If over 200 top ten lists is too much to handle all at once, another alternative is to check out a few samples of recent top ten lists:
If you spot anything amiss with the klugness site (formatting, content, functionality, etc.) or have other feedback, please drop us a note at helloKitty. We appreciate your input.
Thanks for visiting klugness.com, and please check back periodically for new content!
Throwback List of the Day
About the Throwback
As part of our celebration of the third anniversary of the launch of the klugness website (October 17, 2025), we are highlighting selected funny top ten lists from among the 200+ lists that we've published to date.
Each day during October we will display a different top ten list as the Throwback List of the Day. (The list changes at midnight New York time.) We believe these lists are representative of the breadth of our work and are better than our average list, but your mileage may vary.
Note that some of the lists were written prior to the date the site was launched (i.e., prior to October 17, 2022, and as far back as 2019). We've generally included content from throughout our history. If you feel we've excluded a list that you think is particularly good, please drop us a note so that we can take into account your feedback when we develop next year's anniversary celebration lists.
Please celebrate with us by visiting this home page each day during October to view the Throwback List of the Day.
Today's Throwback List: List 156 Date Written: 05/17/2023
This image of "image of billboard advertising for a chicken sandwich fast food place showing cows painting the slogan, 'FER REEL, WAGYU BEEF TASTZ LIKE LIKORISH' " was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
Top Ten Rejected Chick-fil-A Advertising Slogans
TRY GRILLD CHIKIN, ITZ NOT MADE FROM KOWZ
BEEF HAS KOOTIEZ
BY INNY OTHER NAYM, CHIKIN STILL TASTZ MOR BETTER
BURGERS R 4 SUCKERZ AND LOSERZ
ITZ MOR GODLY TO EAT CHIKIN
FER REEL, WAGYU BEEF TASTZ LIKE LIKORISH
SORRIE SUR, I DON'T HAVE INNY MILK—MEBBE ASKT THE CHIKIN?
LET HIM HOO IS WITHOUT SEN AMONG YOU EAT THE FURST KOW
U CALLING ME CHIKIN??
PLEEZ, I DON'T WANNA DIE
Throwback lists have been selected for special treatment based on subjective considerations, including wingspan, hair color, and shoe size. Viewers may form their own opinions on whether the selected lists are of higher quality than the lists that were not selected for special treatment. In particular, viewers may adopt alternative points of view such as: (1) they all suck, (2) who cares?, and (3) meh. Selected lists do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this network, Elon Musk, or your mama. Blah blah blah express written permission yada yada yada professional driver on closed course lorem ipsum dolor investments may lose value. Note that the throwback list shown above is an excerpt that does not include the "Commentary" box—to view the entire original page, use the pressable links in the table below. In particular, Lists 26, 31, and 34 (slated for highlighting) make more sense with the context from the commentary box.
