Top Ten Potential Cabinet Members if Trump Wins a Second Term (Part 2)

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Top Ten Potential Cabinet Members if Trump Wins a Second Term—Part 2
Num	Cabinet Position	Satirical Nominee
10.)	Department of Housing and Urban Development	The Big Bad Wolf
9.)	Department of Education	Forrest Gump
8.)	Department of Homeland Security	Vladimir Putin
7.)	Department of Masculinity	Josh Hawley / Stephen Miller (tie)
6.)	Department of Henhouse Security	The fox from the fox-chicken-corn riddle
5.)	Department of Energy	Magneto / Electro (tie)
4.)	Department of State	Yosemite Sam
3.)	Department of Health and Perfectly Sane Human Services	Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
2.)	Department of The Enemy Within	The Hourglass
1.)	Attorney General	J. Wellington Wimpy

Posted November 4, 2024

Previous All Top Ten Lists

Commentary

With the 2024 U.S. presidential election imminent, we decided to speculate wildly about the people that Donald Trump may select for his cabinet positions in the (hopefully unlikely) event that the orange troublemaker wins a second term. Thus we present the second installment in a series of two snarky top ten lists about Trump's possible cabinet selections.

Given that the list is intended as a joke, we haven't limited our predictions to real people, as more than half of the items involve fictional characters, mostly culled from cartoons and movies. To enhance the fictitious theme, several of the cabinet positions shown are also made up (items 7, 6, and 2). We also edited the name of the cabinet position shown in item 3 for comedic purposes.

In many of these items we're shooting for irony, as you wouldn't expect an individual who's threatened to huff and puff and blow a house down to be nominated for a cabinet position related to housing (item 10). You also wouldn't generally expect the head of the U.S. state department (to which U.S. ambassadors to other countries report) to be a hot-tempered cowboy whose first impulse is to fire his six-shooter (item 4). We've generally tried to exploit this "picking the wrong person for the job" theme for pretty much all of the items on this funny top ten list.

Item 1 is a spoof on how Donald Trump will be looking for a "yes man" as his attorney general for any second term (item 1). J. Wellington Wimpy (also known simply as "Wimpy") was a mild-mannered animated character in the "Popeye" cartoon (item 1). He was known to mooch hamburgers using the line "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." We're shooting for the theme of a wimpy, obsequious person that Trump can easily bend to do his will no matter how outrageous the request.

Welcome to klugness.com!

The U.S. website www.klugness.com was launched in October 2022 with over 100 funny top ten lists, and has since increased that number to over 200. The klugness site doesn't include jokes in the traditional sense, but is dedicated to humor using a David Letterman-style top ten list format. A portion of the content focuses on American politics, with the site generally leaning left, while the rest is garden-variety humor ala MAD magazine. We hope you enjoy the site!

image of man age 25 and woman age 50 sitting on a couch

This image of "man aged 25 and woman age 50 sitting on a couch" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page. This image appears on List 220 - Top Ten Incorrect Translations of "Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi, Ce Soir?"—Part 1, the first list in a two-part series on satirical/fake translations of this French phrase.

This home page shows the most recent top ten list. Please check out the full archive of funny top ten lists on klugness.com at All Top Ten Lists. Note these lists were created up to five years ago, even though the klugness site itself is two years old. The archive page also includes a "List Sampler" table of 18 selected funny top ten lists that will give you a sense of our content without having to tackle all 200+ funny top ten lists. Beneath the "List Sampler" is information about the pictures we've been adding to the site since the beginning of 2023. The pictures are generated using a combination of artificial intelligence and traditional means.

This image of a "mathematics professor" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

The amount of content in our Imagining Things blog (currently 12 posts) isn't as robust as our top ten lists (currently over 200 lists), but that also means it's fairly quick and painless for visitors to check out the blog. While the rate of publication has slowed drastically since the initial burst of posts after the blog was launched in November 2022, we're pleased to share our long-awaited magnum opus Problem Solving Part 1—Newton's Method and Bisection Method. In this lengthy post, our webmaster engages in a deep dive regarding two mathematical problem solving approaches, and then tries to extrapolate those strategies to real life. Sure, we're embarrassed to admit that it's now been about a year (gulp) since we posted Part 1, and our li'l genius artist still hasn't finished drafting part 2 of this two-part post, but he claims it's still bubbling very near to the top of his to-do list. Perhaps he'll post part 2 before hell freezes over. Dacht.

Getting back to the funny top ten lists, we offer a couple of targeted subsets that focus on particular themes. For example, the Trump-Themed Lists are critical of former President Trump, so you won't like them if you're a Trump aficionado.

Another theme is the clever May 2020 Now vs. Then series, which consists of 10 funny top ten lists that compare and contrast the initial coronavirus times to historical times in an amusing way (e.g., "stay at home" vs. "rock and roll all nite"). That early pandemic theme was created in 2000, but it feels sooo ancient! Based on viewership of these pages, it appears that most folks are loathe to revisit that challenging period, and we don't blame you!

Note that the themed lists are also included on the All Top Ten Lists archive (i.e., the themed lists are a subset of the full archive), so if you looked at the full archive, you won't find any new material on the themed lists. This handy bit of intell could free up more time for you to gaze at your phone, consider the future direction of Nvidia stock, or fret about the 2024 U.S. presidential election.

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If over 200 top ten lists is too much to handle all at once, another alternative is to check out samples of the more recent top ten lists:

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Top Ten Potential Cabinet Members if Trump Wins a Second Term—Part 2