Top Ten Reasons Trump Wants to Eliminate Daylight Savings Time (Part 1)

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Top Ten Reasons Trump Wants to Eliminate Daylight Savings Time—Part 1

Heard that Barack Obama is in favor of Daylight Savings Time (DST)
Wants to take everyone's minds off the mysterious New Jersey drone sightings for a while
Still hurt that it didn't attend his inauguration
Heard DST results in fewer robberies—but paradoxically, he wants more robberies so he can blame them on Biden
The My Pillow Guy convinced Trump that without DST he'll be able to sell lots more pillows
Trump once dated a woman named "Daylight," and she had body odor
Recalls incorrectly that Sam-I-Am from the "Green Eggs and Ham" children's book doesn't like Daylight Savings Time
Someone bussing a table at Mar-a-Lago told him DST causes autism
Right before leaving town, a guy from Afghanistan warned Trump not to go to the mall on Halloween, and to beware of DST
Because President Musk decreed it. So let it be now, so let it be forever. Amen.

Posted December 21, 2024

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This image of "the interior of a deserted mall on Halloween" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

Commentary

Daylight Savings Time has long been a topic of debate.

It's generally thought to be good for the economy, as people can play golf, attend outdoor sports, and go shopping later in the day when DST is in effect. Since it stays light outside until later, drivers can more easily see pedestrians and joggers and are less likely to get in accidents.

Even so, DST has a negative effect on productivity, as people are tired from losing an hour of sleep during "spring forward." The nerdy bean counters from the internet also point out that the time you spend resetting your clocks is lost productivity. Hey, get a life, eh?

Anyway, we decided to make up reasons why U.S. President-Elect Donald Trump wants to get rid of Daylight Savings Time. Some of the items are riffs on various Trumpisms, such as being against anything that former President Obama was in favor of (item 10) and having hurt feelings that John Lewis didn't attend his 2017 inauguration (item 8). Item 7 is a riff on Trump wanting certain things not to be fixed (e.g., immigration) so he could blame them on Biden during the 2024 presidential campaign. Item 2 is a reference to an urban legend that has been around since 2001. Some of the reasons are just plain ridiculous, arbitrary, or silly (items 9, 6, 5, 4, and 3).

Stay tuned for Part 2, coming soon to a boutique website near you.

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