The website for funny top ten lists and other satire
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Quote of the Week
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody
Herbert Bayard Swope
Bible Verse of the Week
But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and Judaea and Samaria and to the end of the earth
Acts 1:8 (KJV)
Whimsical Phrase of the Week
It is useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he's madly in love, drunk, or running for office
Shirley Maclaine
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Top Ten Ways to Divert Attention from the Epstein Files
Fire Jerome Powell and have him perp-walked out of the building in his underwear
Pressure company management to reinstate cocaine into the Coke formula
Make up fanciful stories about the Unabomber being a student in your smart uncle's M.I.T. class
Ask Melania to deliberately feign a wardrobe malfunction, then brashly blame it on the Democrat who designed the clothing
Rename the Mississippi River after a confederate general
Deport Sonia Sotomayor and fill her vacated Supreme Court seat with Emil Bove
Accuse the contractor who paved over the White House rose garden of using "trans" asphalt
Move the planned UFC event at the White House from 2026 to next week
Order Marco Rubio to don a chicken costume and cluck around the White House lawn
Release shocking footage of Comey, Obama, and Biden at a Haitian barbecue
This image of "people viewing a shiny penny exhibit in a museum" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
Welcome to klugness.com!
The U.S. website www.klugness.com was launched in October 2022 with over 100 funny top ten lists, and has since increased that number to over 200. The klugness site doesn't include jokes in the traditional sense, but is dedicated to humor using a David Letterman-style top ten list format. A portion of the content focuses on American politics, with the site generally leaning left, while the rest is garden-variety humor ala MAD magazine. We hope you enjoy the site!
This image of "an edgy older guy reading a serious book called 'How I Came to Be' " was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page. This image appears on List 241 - Top Ten Elon Musk vs. Donald Trump (Part 2).
This home page shows the most recent top ten list. Please check out the full archive of funny top ten lists on klugness.com at All Top Ten Lists. Note these lists were created up to five years ago, even though the klugness site itself is two years old. The archive page also includes a "List Sampler" table of 18 selected funny top ten lists that will give you a sense of our content without having to tackle all 200+ funny top ten lists. Beneath the "List Sampler" is information about the pictures we've been adding to the site since the beginning of 2023. The pictures are generated using a combination of artificial intelligence and traditional means.
This image of a "an office worker wearing a T shirt that says 'quicksort' chained to his or her desk on Friday afternoon at 5:00" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
After a long hiatus of no blog posts for more than one fizzbin, we've finally added a 13th post to our Imagining Things blog. We're pleased to share the long-awaited magnum opus Problem Solving Part 2Quicksort and Bubble Sort Algorithms. In this very lengthy post, our webmaster engages in a deep dive regarding two computer algorithms for putting a data list in order, and then tries to extrapolate those strategies to real life. This post is a follow-up to the November 2023 post Problem Solving Part 1Newton's Method and Bisection Method. Good news! We now have three or four partially written blog posts in the queue, which we hope to complete in the coming weeks/months.
Getting back to the funny top ten lists, we offer a couple of targeted subsets that focus on particular themes. For example, the Trump-Themed Lists are critical of former President Trump, so you won't like them if you're a Trump aficionado.
Another theme is the clever May 2020 Now vs. Then series, which consists of 10 funny top ten lists that compare and contrast the initial coronavirus times to historical times in an amusing way (e.g., "stay at home" vs. "rock and roll all nite"). That early pandemic theme was created in 2000, but it feels sooo ancient! Based on viewership of these pages, it appears that most folks are loathe to revisit that challenging period, and we don't blame you!
Note that the themed lists are also included on the All Top Ten Lists archive (i.e., the themed lists are a subset of the full archive), so if you looked at the full archive, you won't find any new material on the themed lists. This handy bit of intell could free up more time for you to gaze at your phone, consider whether Coke should bring back cane sugar, or ponder whether it makes sense to reopen Alcatraz.
For general information about klugness.com (including frequently asked questions, privacy policy, how to pronounce "klugness," etc.), use the following link: About.
If over 200 top ten lists is too much to handle all at once, another alternative is to check out a few samples of recent top ten lists:
If you spot anything amiss with the klugness site (formatting, content, functionality, etc.) or have other feedback, please drop us a note at helloKitty. We appreciate your input.
Thanks for visiting klugness.com, and please check back periodically for new content!