The website for funny top ten lists and other satire
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Quote of the Week
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it
Bob Hope
Bible Verse of the Week
Laughter cannot mask a heavy heart. When the laughter ends, the grief remains
Proverbs 14:13 (LB)
Whimsical Phrase of the Week
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
Lloyd Bridges as Steven McCroskey in "Airplane!" (1980)
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Top Ten Mike Waltz Gaffes OR Incorrect Ways to Apply Sunscreen
As a youngster, he accidentally let a fox into the henhouse
Heated the sunscreen lotion to a boil to remove the impurities
Appeared on Judge Judy but didn't bring any receipts
Applied a thin layer of lotion about two minutes before going out into the Florida sun
Sent an email calling the boss "Old Yeller" to a small group of like-minded colleagues, but accidentally cc'd the boss on the message
Dabbed the lotion gently into the armpits
Attempted to spray glass cleaner onto a window while the nozzle was still in the "off" position, and then brought in Elon Musk and his team to assess what could have gone wrong
Rubbed the lotion onto exposed skin on arms and legs using steel wool
Accidentally killed a ladybug, but when confronted, insisted it was a horsefly
Poured the lotion into a vat and immersed entire head in it
This image of "a fox in a henhouse" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
Welcome to klugness.com!
The U.S. website www.klugness.com was launched in October 2022 with over 100 funny top ten lists, and has since increased that number to over 200. The klugness site doesn't include jokes in the traditional sense, but is dedicated to humor using a David Letterman-style top ten list format. A portion of the content focuses on American politics, with the site generally leaning left, while the rest is garden-variety humor ala MAD magazine. We hope you enjoy the site!
This image of "a man with an orange face" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page. This image appears on List 16 - Top Ten Real or Imaginary AfflictionsPart 2.
This home page shows the most recent top ten list. Please check out the full archive of funny top ten lists on klugness.com at All Top Ten Lists. Note these lists were created up to five years ago, even though the klugness site itself is two years old. The archive page also includes a "List Sampler" table of 18 selected funny top ten lists that will give you a sense of our content without having to tackle all 200+ funny top ten lists. Beneath the "List Sampler" is information about the pictures we've been adding to the site since the beginning of 2023. The pictures are generated using a combination of artificial intelligence and traditional means.
This image of a "mathematics professor" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
The amount of content in our Imagining Things blog (currently 12 posts) isn't as robust as our top ten lists (currently over 200 lists), but that also means it's fairly quick and painless for visitors to check out the blog. While the rate of publication has slowed drastically since the initial burst of posts after the blog was launched in November 2022, we're pleased to share our long-awaited magnum opus Problem Solving Part 1Newton's Method and Bisection Method. In this lengthy post, our webmaster engages in a deep dive regarding two mathematical problem solving approaches, and then tries to extrapolate those strategies to real life. Sure, we're embarrassed to admit that it's now been over a year (gulp) since we posted Part 1, and our li'l genius artist still hasn't finished drafting part 2 of this two-part post, but he claims it's still bubbling very near to the top of his to-do list. Perhaps he'll post part 2 before hell freezes over. Dacht.
Getting back to the funny top ten lists, we offer a couple of targeted subsets that focus on particular themes. For example, the Trump-Themed Lists are critical of former President Trump, so you won't like them if you're a Trump aficionado.
Another theme is the clever May 2020 Now vs. Then series, which consists of 10 funny top ten lists that compare and contrast the initial coronavirus times to historical times in an amusing way (e.g., "stay at home" vs. "rock and roll all nite"). That early pandemic theme was created in 2000, but it feels sooo ancient! Based on viewership of these pages, it appears that most folks are loathe to revisit that challenging period, and we don't blame you!
Note that the themed lists are also included on the All Top Ten Lists archive (i.e., the themed lists are a subset of the full archive), so if you looked at the full archive, you won't find any new material on the themed lists. This handy bit of intell could free up more time for you to gaze at your phone, discuss confidential information in a Signal chat, or slap 25% tariffs on additional countries.
For general information about klugness.com (including frequently asked questions, privacy policy, how to pronounce "klugness," etc.), use the following link: About.
If over 200 top ten lists is too much to handle all at once, another alternative is to check out a few samples of recent top ten lists:
If you spot anything amiss with the klugness site (formatting, content, functionality, etc.) or have other feedback, please drop us a note at helloKitty. We appreciate your input.
Thanks for visiting klugness.com, and please check back periodically for new content!