Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Earth Day 2025 (Satirical)

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That's what I get for trustin' a rabbit

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Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Earth Day 2025 (Satirical)
Num	Individual	Approach for Celebrating Earth Day
10.)	Happy Feet	Slap reciprocal tariffs on clear plastic six-pack rings exported from the U.S.
9.)	Elon Musk	Cook a meal with sustainable produce while fathering his next 10-12 children in the back seat of a Cybertruck
8.)	Paula Deen	Start a compôte bin (oh shoot, never mind—we've confused the words compôte and compost)
7.)	Donald Trump	Lay the blame for air pollution AND low water pressure in shower nozzles squarely where it belongs: on Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell
6.)	Kristi Noem	Something something something dead dog stolen purse glam photo op with rifle
5.)	Easter Bunny	Volunteer to install a briar patch at a local park, beach, or river
4.)	Pete Hegseth	Crawl under a rock on a deserted island and pray no one notices his presence (or absence) until the storm blows over
3.)	Donald Trump	Pee in Blue Lake (New Zealand)
2.)	George Tariff	File paperwork to officially change name to George Smith
1.)	Donald Trump	Flush all recent Supreme Court rulings down the toilet; post emoji of raised middle finger on Truth Social; use the "f" word in front of the Easter Bunny

Posted April 25, 2025

Previous All Top Ten Lists

This image of "an easter bunny presenting a briar patch at a celebratory event" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.

Commentary

Yeah, we couldn't get it together to post a top ten list about 2025 Earth Day on the day itself (April 20)—perhaps we were out planting trees?—but we got around to it a few days later. Fortunately, the earth is stable enough that it keeps turning even when our team is planting trees, playing sudoku, or taking a nap.

Many of these Earth Day jokes are about political figures or issues (items 10, 9, 7, 6, 4, 3, and 1), but a few are whimsical in nature (items 8 and 5). Item 10 includes a cryptic environmental reference from the 2006 movie "Happy Feet." Item 8 is a wordplay joke, and item 5 is a rabbit joke disguised as an environmental volunteering reference. Item 2 has nothing to do with Earth Day but we decided to sneak it in anyway.

Item 3 is yet another reference to our strongly held belief that Donald Trump is, at his core, a crass New Yorker. We used the same "violating one of the Earth's pristine bodies of water" concept once before, in List 242 where we cooked up some imaginary 2025 New Year's Resolutions of Donald Trump. The difference is that in that case we envisioned him despoiling a different pristine body of water on the planet (Crater Lake in Oregon).

Maybe he's making the rounds?

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