The website for funny top ten lists and other satire
Today is Month D, YYYY
9
9
:
9
9
:
9
9
AM
Quote of the Week
A man does not attain the status of a Galileo merely because he is persecuted; he must also be right
Stephen Jay Gould
Bible Verse of the Week
A person who promises a gift but doesn't give it is like clouds and wind that bring no rain
Proverbs 25:14 (NLT)
Whimsical Phrase of the Week
There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea
Jim Gaffigan
Social Media Analytics
6
3
8
9
1
dislikes
5
4
1
3
1
avoids
Help us extend our digital outreach, promote our brand, and maximize our social media footprint. Share our content with anyone you can't stand!
Targeted Digital Treatments
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
Happy Anniversary!
Our favorite website turns 2 years old on October 17, 2024. Hmm, has it really been two years since we launched the klugness (pronounced "kloog-ness") site? Why yes, Scarlet—it has.
We've decided to set aside the entire month of October to celebrate this anniversary achievement. As part of that celebration, we'll be making updates to this home page every day during the month of October.
For example, our webmaster used his knowledge of php programming to set up a "slide show" of selected funny top ten lists from our first two years of existence. The grouchy dude programmed it all up front so that the "throwback list of the day" changes automatically each day during October 2024—even if the old fart takes a nap and forgets to update it! Check back every day during October for the Throwback List of the Day.
His Grouchiness will also try to finish some partially written material this month, especially for the Imagining Things blog, which has suffered from neglect for almost a year. OMG Klugmeister hasn't posted anything new since last November. Slacker!
We'll also reserve this space for Klugmeister to wax poetic during our anniversary month about milestones achieved and challenges faced by the klugness site. We'll make updates to this area a few times this month, but not every day. Check back often!
This image of "an expecting alien couple reviewing the results of a software program that generates baby names" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image does not depict real aliens. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
Top Ten Baby Names Generated by Mock Elon Musk Software—Part 2
The U.S. website www.klugness.com was launched in October 2022 with over 100 funny top ten lists, and has since increased that number to over 200. The klugness site doesn't include jokes in the traditional sense, but is dedicated to humor using a David Letterman-style top ten list format. A portion of the content focuses on American politics, with the site generally leaning left, while the rest is garden-variety humor ala MAD magazine. We hope you enjoy the site!
This image of "man aged 25 and woman age 50 sitting on a couch" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page. This image appears on List 220 - Top Ten Incorrect Translations of "Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi, Ce Soir?"—Part 1, the first list in a two-part series on satirical/fake translations of this French phrase.
This home page shows the most recent top ten list. Please check out the full archive of funny top ten lists on klugness.com at All Top Ten Lists. Note these lists were created up to five years ago, even though the klugness site itself is about two years old. The archive page also includes a "List Sampler" table of 18 selected funny top ten lists that will give you a sense of our content without having to tackle all 200+ funny top ten lists. Beneath the "List Sampler" is information about the pictures we've been adding to the site since the beginning of 2023. The pictures are generated using a combination of artificial intelligence and traditional means.
This image of a "mathematics professor" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
The amount of content in our Imagining Things blog (currently 12 posts) isn't as robust as our top ten lists (currently about 200 lists), but that also means it's fairly quick and painless for visitors to check out the blog. While the rate of publication has slowed drastically since the initial burst of posts after the blog was launched in November 2022, we're pleased to share our long-awaited magnum opus Problem Solving Part 1—Newton's Method and Bisection Method. In this lengthy post, our webmaster engages in a deep dive regarding two mathematical problem solving approaches, and then tries to extrapolate those strategies to real life. Sure, we're embarrassed to admit that it's now been almost a year (gulp) since we posted Part 1, and our li'l genius artist still hasn't finished drafting part 2 of this two-part post, but he claims it's still bubbling near the top of his to-do list. Perhaps he'll post part 2 before hell freezes over. Dacht.
Getting back to the funny top ten lists, we offer a couple of targeted subsets that focus on particular themes. For example, the Trump-Themed Lists are critical of former President Trump, so you won't like them if you're a Trump aficionado.
Another theme is the clever May 2020 Now vs. Then series, which consists of 10 funny top ten lists that compare and contrast the initial coronavirus times to historical times in an amusing way (e.g., "stay at home" vs. "rock and roll all nite"). That early pandemic theme was created in 2000, but it feels sooo ancient! Based on viewership of these pages, it appears that most folks are loathe to revisit that challenging period, and we don't blame you!
Note that the themed lists are also included on the All Top Ten Lists archive (i.e., the themed lists are a subset of the full archive), so if you looked at the full archive, you won't find any new material on the themed lists. This handy bit of intell could free up more time for you to gaze at your phone, consider the future direction of Oracle stock, or try to keep up with the recent changes affecting the 2024 U.S. presidential election.
For general information about klugness.com (including frequently asked questions, privacy policy, how to pronounce "klugness," etc.), use the following link: About.
If over 200 top ten lists is too much to handle all at once, another alternative is to check out samples of the more recent top ten lists:
If you spot anything amiss with the klugness site (formatting, content, functionality, etc.) or have other feedback, please drop us a note at helloKitty. We appreciate your input.
Thanks for visiting klugness.com, and please check back periodically for new content!
Throwback List of the Day
About the Throwback
As part of our celebration of the second anniversary of the launch of the klugness website (October 17, 2024), we are highlighting selected funny top ten lists from among the 200+ lists that we've published to date.
Each day during October we will display a different top ten list as the Throwback List of the Day. (The list changes at midnight New York time.) We believe these lists are representative of the breadth of our work and are better than our average list, but your mileage may vary.
Note that some of the lists were written prior to the date the site was launched (i.e., prior to October 17, 2022, and as far back as 2019). We included a few Covid-themed lists, though they seem very dated. Sure, Covid was only four years ago but the topic seems to belong in a prehistoric era, when Shag Carpets, Wood Paneling, and Station Wagons roamed the earth.
Please celebrate with us by visiting this home page each day during October to view the Throwback List of the Day.
Today's Throwback List: List 156 Date Written: 05/17/2023
Top Ten Satirical Examples of Misinformation vs. Disinformation
Num
Misinformation
Disinformation
10.)
As far as I know, no one has ever escaped from Alcatraz
After Andy Dufresne helped him get his G.E.D., Tommy Williams was unfortunately killed while attempting to escape from Shawshank
9.)
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards passed away around five years ago, if I recall correctly
As Mufasa's brother, I'm very sad to report that both Mufasa and Simba were killed in the wildebeest stampede
8.)
A forward pass to Rudy Giuliani
A fake punt
7.)
I'm sorry, babe—I thought we had enough money in the bank account to cover that transaction
In the movie "Ghost," the reason that Carl Bruner offered to help friend/coworker Sam Wheat (Patrick Swayze) investigate suspicious bank transactions was because he wanted to bring the culprit to justice
6.)
Sorry, honey—I didn't realize there was nudity in "Hot Tub Time Machine"
I stopped off at Hooters after work because they have really great wings
5.)
In the 1992 movie "Terminator 2," the T-1000 shape-shifting terminator assassin was indestructible
Hey Janelle, what's wrong with Wolfie? I can hear him barking
4.)
Heidi Klum's "worm" Halloween costume can be used to catch fish
This honorary sheriff's badge mean I can hepp catch bad guys
3.)
Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand?
She turned me into a newt!
2.)
I can fix it
It's not broken
1.)
What?? I thought we were going to meet for lunch at White Castle—not Wendy's
By deploying dummy aircraft and inflatable Sherman tanks during WWII, the Allies led the Germans to believe the D-Day invasion may take place at Pas de Calais rather than Normandy
This image of "a junked car with the title 'It's not broken' " was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.
Throwback lists have been selected for special treatment based on subjective considerations, including wingspan, hair color, and shoe size. Viewers may form their own opinions on whether the selected lists are of higher quality than the lists that were not selected for special treatment. In particular, viewers may adopt alternative points of view such as: (1) they all suck, (2) who cares?, and (3) meh. Selected lists do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this network, Elon Musk, or your mama. Blah blah blah express written permission yada yada yada professional driver on closed course lorem ipsum dolor investments may lose value. Note that the throwback list shown above is an excerpt that does not include the "Commentary" box—to view the entire original page, use the pressable links in the table below. In particular, Lists 26, 31, and 34 (slated for highlighting) make more sense with the context from the commentary box.
