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Top Ten Rationales Behind Airline Boarding Zones

Num Boarding Zone Rationale
10.) Zone 5 Toenail fungus AND skid marks
9.) Zone 4 Skid marks
8.) Zone 3 Often can't solve Wordle in six tries AND middle name is not "Delta"
7.) Zone 2 Circles the block cautiously before turning into driveway AND has memorized the lyrics of "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
6.) Zone 1 Unflinchingly loyal AND prefers Post raisin bran cereal over Kellogg's
5.) Comfort Willing to pay extra for more legroom OR a lapdance
4.) Premium Select Upper middle class AND has seen neither the Barbie nor Oppenheimer movies
3.) First Class Wealthy AND holds pinky out when sipping tea
2.) Bruce Wayne I'm Batman
1.) Crazy Rich Asians Highly price insensitive

Posted April 2, 2024

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a person with limited legroom on a plane

This image of "a person with limited legroom on a plane" was created by Klugmeister using artificial intelligence software. The image was reviewed by Klugmeister before posting on this web page.